The Art of Body Shaming, Shame On You! (And shame on me too....)

I am a big girl, I have been a bigger girl almost all my life and I doubt I will ever be below a size 12. I have lived with the fat jokes and teasing for being fat for as long as I can remember. I used to say, "Real women have curves" and "No one wants a boney woman" How wrong I was! I could only see from my side of view where being overweight has been a large source of unhappiness to me, and when I would hear skinny people complain about needing to lose weight, instead of asking what is making them feel that way, I would just scoff and whisper that they have no right to say that. Again, so very, very wrong.

So I was guilty after all these years of being just as cruel as others but I felt justified in how I felt. I didn't see how it was wrong, I mean they always make fun of me and I just know they are thinking about how fat I am right? Yeah, maybe a few but not everyone.

Then I had a realisation, an epiphany if you. People are going to be unhappy with their bodies no matter how they look. There is a small percentage of people who would not change a thing about their appearance and not every part of our appearance is by choice. Just like some people gain weight very easily, some people can't gain weight and lose weight too easy. Just because I would rather be skinnier, does that give me the right to put them down? No it does not!

We seem to forget that the people we talk down to, the ones we either say "Have a cheeseburger" or "Put down your fork and walk a bit" have feelings too and telling them this is NOT going to make them change just because you said so, it is going to hurt them and sometimes make their situation worse. Maybe they will give up and not even try anymore. Maybe they will wait until you are not around and cry.

What needs to change is this idea that you  can guess a person's health by their size. Not all fat people are unhealthy, not all skinny people are healthy. Not all fat people binge eat constantly and not all skinny people eat nothing at all. Unless you are them, you really have no right to say what they do or what they don't do. If you are not their Doctor then you can not say they are not healthy. Until we stop this discrimination nothing will get better.

So I will leave you with this thought, if you want to think about someone, think of how you would feel in their shoes and maybe, just maybe it will help change your way of thinking a little.

Life Lessons We Need and The Changes We Need To Make

We live in a world where status and image are everything. If you do not live a certain way, look a certain way or think a certain way you are wrong, shunned and just put down.

Miss Representation is a perfect example of what we need to be more aware of. We like to think we are a more advanced civilization with a better life for everyone, that is definitely not the truth. I almost feel like either I was blind or just not paying attention. Well I can say I have seen the light. I never realised just how bad it is for women before.

 

Recently I had decided to write an article on the best and the worst of Disney and Cartoon Princesses after an eye opening viewing of Thumbellina. Thumbelina is a ditzy girl whose entire self worth is based on how others see her. If they say she is beautiful she is happy and will do anything, even marry to please them and be taken care of. How do I know this? She almost marries because she is lost and helpless and says "he can take care of me". When she is told she is ugly her whole world falls apart and she has to be reassured that she is physically beautiful to feel better. She takes one look at the fairy prince and it is "love" at first sight. When a young girl sees this she is going to believe that her entire worth is based on how they look and the man they marry.

When I was in school so many conversations revolved around makeup, beauty, fashion and sex. I would see these girls who are half dressed and talk about sex and boys. There is no talk about what school they want to go to, or what they want to do for careers, they don't care about that. I always felt out of the loop and wondered what was wrong with me that I just didn't care about that stuff. I was proud to not wear makeup and I was proud of not following them, but I felt very lonely. I always felt bad that I didn't look like them or think like them. I wanted to, I tried to, but I gave up quickly. I wish I knew then what I know how. What others think of me does not define my self worth. I choose to do things or think things for me, and only me now, not perfectly but I am working on it. I may not be 100% happy with myself, but I am making huge strides and my self esteem is higher than it has ever been in my life and it is based on who I am on the INSIDE which is something I didn't think would happen. I used to joke about how the world was becoming more like Idiocracy, getting really dumb and over sexualized. The sad thing is how true it is.

We as women really need to help each other and stop bringing each other down. I have been feeling this for quite awhile and said it a couple times, now I need to start shouting it. We will never make a difference if we stand by and accept things for the way they are. We also need to stop this ridiculous idea that if a woman does not want to get married and have children that there is something wrong with her. There is nothing that says a woman HAS to have children or a family and the choice is not because she is a bitch or horrible. Maybe she, like some men, just want a career over family. If it's ok for men, then why is it not ok for women?

Until we change these ideas or at least try, it is never going to change. I may not be able to change the world, but I am going to do what I can to change me, and with any luck inspire change in those around me for the better.

 

If I could leave this entry with a thought, or anything it would be to start thinking for yourself and stop relying on what others think you should be.

Also this moment of happy!

 

 

2012 and 1403 the comparisons of John Cusac and the movies too

Movie: 1403

John: Writer turned depressed looking for ghosts and life after death who wrote one amazing book then became a literacy joke

This movie goes that he and his wife lose their daughter and he loses his will to live. It is not until the evil room he stays in tries to kill him and he realises in the end his mistakes and had he lived he would have gotten back together with the wife he loved.

Movie: 2012

John: Writer who is considered an "unabashed optimist" writing a book hardly anyone bought

2012 is the "End Of The World" movie where he loses his family because he blocked them out while he wrote, their family ends up coming back together due to an extremely crazy situation. She did meet someone else, but he got killed off shortly after his specific skillset was no longer relevant.

What I got from these movies watching his characters?
Being a pessimist got him dead and being an optimist allowed him to get his family back. Moral of the story, be happy because being sad makes you dead!

I know both of these movies are horribly bad, but I love them just the same. If that makes me crazy, so be it.

I said what what in the...hi

You would think that after a month of working at Tim Horton's that my feet would get SOMEWHAT accustomed to the daily on your feet for 8 hours a day thing but here we are, 3am and 5 hours after I got home and painkillers taken and I am still sore. You would ALSO think that with my weight plus this activity I would lose more weight. I am going to have to do some training and insoles to help out. Improve my physical and buffer the footsies and I SHOULD be better off. Downside is I really want to complete all the Lego games on my Xbox and just don't have enough time to do both. So what am I going to do? I am going to suck it up and do what I need to in order to be free of this constant pain. I am thinking some cardio and leg work would do me some good. Not really sure, but will figure it out.

Ok kitty, I get it, just shut up and do it already.

I can say this for my job, after 11 1/2 years at Stream I never left work feeling like I was able to leave the work stress at work, at Stream it would bug me no matter where I went. Now, I feel like I accomplished a job well done even in the midst of the craziness.

Anyways, onto bigger and better things. Lego Lord Of The Rings! I do love the game, but it is so different than the other ones. In all of the other ones, even the ones based on movies (Lego Harry Potter) this one has pretty much just the audio from the LOTR movies with a little bit of humor. I do like the game but for now I am still unsure about this. We will see how it plays out...

In the world of books I have The Hobbit and my book, Nadine to read. I think I know what I will be doing on my breaks from now on, well at least for awhile that is. I plan on giving a full review on them and the games so need to get on that. I will need a better keyboard before I do that though because this notebook kb just annoys me. Well, I suppose this is bed time now, hopefully I will have a nice day off tomorrow and get everything done that I am hoping to get done. I will eave you with another cat, this one will be my next tattoo! YAY CATS!

I Think I Need A Vacation!

A real one, I never get to go anywhere or do anything. I want to go camping for a couple days this summer or something, not anything expensive, but just fun. I am sick of just working and working and not getting to do anything fun that is longer than just a couple hours one day here and there. I know this is whiney, but I don't want a lot.

I am happy that I got some rain though, I am tired of constant sunshine, I prefer the rain. Sun in the summer means heat and bad air quality and then I get sick. I would very much enjoy more rain right now before we get into too much heat. I guess we will see how that goes I guess.

I also very much want to move into a nicer place, but not going to be ale to unless I find a place cheap like this apartment or get a higher paying job. I am worried I will be stuck in minimum wage jobs for the rest of my life and that thought is a bit depressing. I was hoping to own my own house by now, I hate renting and I hate this crappy apartment. I need something nicer, I just don't want to decorate this place or do anything.

Today I guess is just a big whining day, I need those every now and then to release any frustration, plus I am SUPER tired so everything is annoying me today.

I think I will go to bed soon and hopefully get a restful sleep.

Ok, so we all know this is ALL ABOUT ME!

Or at least this blog is. I got a new book today Nadine by Matt Cohen. I saw it, wanted it but couldn't buy it. When I went back with a friend it was still there and I opened it up to see the prologue was set the year I was born. I saw that as a sign that I had to do it, and rather than have to have them hold it until I came back with money later my lovely, beautiful magnificent friend bought it for me. I will be reading that tonight and tomorrow on my break at work. I think it is just too cool to have a book with my name especially since most things that you can buy with names, NEVER have my name! I have a song and a book! Beat that! Just kidding, this is not a competition...or is it?

I also got to see Team Darkside play today (ball hockey team) and they are good. It made me decide that I want to join a ball hockey team too and I found out there is a woman's team here, so I will have to look into that. I miss playing hockey so much. So I have until the next season to get in better shape to play! For now, I am just going to cheer on Team Darkside.

Lots of things in my life are going better since leaving Stream. I forgot how nice it is not to have constant headaches and stress that was borderline heart attack (not exaggerating either sadly). I have the usual would love to stay home days, but actually look forward to work again. I was stuck in a rut and didn't know how much was work and how much was personal until I was left with only personal. I had lost hope that I would be happy working anywhere in the last days at Stream. I actually want to work again and go out and be part of the world. At least I had my kitties to keep me from losing my mind completely.

So, I am back to where I was when I first started at Stream. New job, wanting to know what I want to do with the rest of my life and I still am not 100% sure. I only know this, I want to work 40 hours a week doing something I enjoy and I want to stay in Chilliwack for work or at least not too far from Chilliwack. So I need to work on getting my licence ASAP!

Anyways, for now I am just going to keep doing what I am doing as my life gets better.

The Underpants Gnomes Know All

"Time to go to work,
Work all day,
Search for underpants hey!
We won't stop until we have underpants!
Yum yum yummy yum yay!
Time to go to work,
Work all night,
Search for underpants yay!
We won't stop until we have underpants!
Yum yum yummy yum yay!"

I thought, "I have to go to work today" and this popped into my head. I am sitting here with my cats watching TV and thinking about my first day post-training. I am a bit nervous and part of me just wants to stay home. I will just have to stick with it and do what I can to get past this nervousness.

Only thing I don't like much about my job is the uniform. They are constricting and hot and not very flattering on bigger women like me. On the bright side, I did lose a bit of weight from training. The pants fit better and went down a belt loop. It makes me happy simply because it makes my uniform fit better than it did the first day I worked.

Oh well, so off to work I go now, but I will try to not search for underpants!