I said what what in the...hi

You would think that after a month of working at Tim Horton's that my feet would get SOMEWHAT accustomed to the daily on your feet for 8 hours a day thing but here we are, 3am and 5 hours after I got home and painkillers taken and I am still sore. You would ALSO think that with my weight plus this activity I would lose more weight. I am going to have to do some training and insoles to help out. Improve my physical and buffer the footsies and I SHOULD be better off. Downside is I really want to complete all the Lego games on my Xbox and just don't have enough time to do both. So what am I going to do? I am going to suck it up and do what I need to in order to be free of this constant pain. I am thinking some cardio and leg work would do me some good. Not really sure, but will figure it out.

Ok kitty, I get it, just shut up and do it already.

I can say this for my job, after 11 1/2 years at Stream I never left work feeling like I was able to leave the work stress at work, at Stream it would bug me no matter where I went. Now, I feel like I accomplished a job well done even in the midst of the craziness.

Anyways, onto bigger and better things. Lego Lord Of The Rings! I do love the game, but it is so different than the other ones. In all of the other ones, even the ones based on movies (Lego Harry Potter) this one has pretty much just the audio from the LOTR movies with a little bit of humor. I do like the game but for now I am still unsure about this. We will see how it plays out...

In the world of books I have The Hobbit and my book, Nadine to read. I think I know what I will be doing on my breaks from now on, well at least for awhile that is. I plan on giving a full review on them and the games so need to get on that. I will need a better keyboard before I do that though because this notebook kb just annoys me. Well, I suppose this is bed time now, hopefully I will have a nice day off tomorrow and get everything done that I am hoping to get done. I will eave you with another cat, this one will be my next tattoo! YAY CATS!

I Think I Need A Vacation!

A real one, I never get to go anywhere or do anything. I want to go camping for a couple days this summer or something, not anything expensive, but just fun. I am sick of just working and working and not getting to do anything fun that is longer than just a couple hours one day here and there. I know this is whiney, but I don't want a lot.

I am happy that I got some rain though, I am tired of constant sunshine, I prefer the rain. Sun in the summer means heat and bad air quality and then I get sick. I would very much enjoy more rain right now before we get into too much heat. I guess we will see how that goes I guess.

I also very much want to move into a nicer place, but not going to be ale to unless I find a place cheap like this apartment or get a higher paying job. I am worried I will be stuck in minimum wage jobs for the rest of my life and that thought is a bit depressing. I was hoping to own my own house by now, I hate renting and I hate this crappy apartment. I need something nicer, I just don't want to decorate this place or do anything.

Today I guess is just a big whining day, I need those every now and then to release any frustration, plus I am SUPER tired so everything is annoying me today.

I think I will go to bed soon and hopefully get a restful sleep.

Ok, so we all know this is ALL ABOUT ME!

Or at least this blog is. I got a new book today Nadine by Matt Cohen. I saw it, wanted it but couldn't buy it. When I went back with a friend it was still there and I opened it up to see the prologue was set the year I was born. I saw that as a sign that I had to do it, and rather than have to have them hold it until I came back with money later my lovely, beautiful magnificent friend bought it for me. I will be reading that tonight and tomorrow on my break at work. I think it is just too cool to have a book with my name especially since most things that you can buy with names, NEVER have my name! I have a song and a book! Beat that! Just kidding, this is not a competition...or is it?

I also got to see Team Darkside play today (ball hockey team) and they are good. It made me decide that I want to join a ball hockey team too and I found out there is a woman's team here, so I will have to look into that. I miss playing hockey so much. So I have until the next season to get in better shape to play! For now, I am just going to cheer on Team Darkside.

Lots of things in my life are going better since leaving Stream. I forgot how nice it is not to have constant headaches and stress that was borderline heart attack (not exaggerating either sadly). I have the usual would love to stay home days, but actually look forward to work again. I was stuck in a rut and didn't know how much was work and how much was personal until I was left with only personal. I had lost hope that I would be happy working anywhere in the last days at Stream. I actually want to work again and go out and be part of the world. At least I had my kitties to keep me from losing my mind completely.

So, I am back to where I was when I first started at Stream. New job, wanting to know what I want to do with the rest of my life and I still am not 100% sure. I only know this, I want to work 40 hours a week doing something I enjoy and I want to stay in Chilliwack for work or at least not too far from Chilliwack. So I need to work on getting my licence ASAP!

Anyways, for now I am just going to keep doing what I am doing as my life gets better.

The Underpants Gnomes Know All

"Time to go to work,
Work all day,
Search for underpants hey!
We won't stop until we have underpants!
Yum yum yummy yum yay!
Time to go to work,
Work all night,
Search for underpants yay!
We won't stop until we have underpants!
Yum yum yummy yum yay!"

I thought, "I have to go to work today" and this popped into my head. I am sitting here with my cats watching TV and thinking about my first day post-training. I am a bit nervous and part of me just wants to stay home. I will just have to stick with it and do what I can to get past this nervousness.

Only thing I don't like much about my job is the uniform. They are constricting and hot and not very flattering on bigger women like me. On the bright side, I did lose a bit of weight from training. The pants fit better and went down a belt loop. It makes me happy simply because it makes my uniform fit better than it did the first day I worked.

Oh well, so off to work I go now, but I will try to not search for underpants!

In The Beginning

There was a girl, and her name was Nadine.

As I look around me at the things and people in my life I sometimes wonder if I am really doing what I should be doing with my life. I had so many goals and ambitions, I thought that I should be married and have a great career, at one point thought kids, and was worried as my 20's started to slip by so what exactly happened? I woke up and realised that not all of my dream were realistic and just because life doesn't go according to "the plan" does not mean I have to throw in the towel and give up. The things we dream about change all the time, but one thing that is constant is that we should be thankful for the good things we have. Also, 30 is the new 20!

I am one of 5 people that owns a video game store, Darkside Games. We are a small owner run shop that is a great place for kids to hang out. It makes me wish sometimes that it was around when I was a teenager, and I hope that anyone who comes through our doors is happy that we are there. I also love the ability to play any game in the store and re-living old NES, SNES, Sega etc games. It is my lottery dream come to life without the lottery. I just need us to make money so I can work there instead! I also will be writing some game reviews which will be posted later on when I get a chance to write them.

I am thankful to have a job right now, after 11 1/2 years at Stream (call center for computer support) I am now a Tim Horton's employee. While my feet are killing me after so long sitting at a desk and now on my feet 8 hours a day, I am happy to go to work again.

The other thing that had been bothering me so much is I am a very curvy BBW. You see shows like the biggest loser, hear the fat jokes, see pictures of what people say is real beauty - in other words anything over size 6 is plus sized and you eventually start to hate how you look. I know because I have had this happen to me. I have recently began to accept I am beautiful and I am worth love and happiness just like someone who is a size 2. I don't have to be tiny to be happy, I just need to be me. Now, I am not saying I don't want to lose weight at all, but I am not going to lose it because society wants me to, and I am NOT going to starve myself to do it, I WILL enjoy the food I love when I want, and I will lose SOME of the weight because I just want to pay less money for my clothes and I just want to for me, no one else. Will I ever be smaller than a 12/14? Nope, and I am perfectly happy with that. and anyone who says I should be smaller can keep talking because I am just going to ignore them. I am 5'11" with long beautiful hair, lovely green eyes and a smile that I have been told lights up a room. With qualities like that, who cares what the meanies say?

I also thought it would be nice to start a new blog where I can express myself and get everything off my chest. I am no longer the type that can keeps things bottled up and sealed inside my heart. I broke he seal and can't get it shut anymore but that is a good thing. I can sit back and calmly observe life, but don't feel afraid of getting involved in life anymore. Be warned, I am a bit crazy so if you decide to follow me on this journey I have 1 warning...BEWARE THE CATS!

I am me, I am proud, I am chubby, I am free.......and I LOVE CATS!