As I look around me at the things and people in my life I sometimes wonder if I am really doing what I should be doing with my life. I had so many goals and ambitions, I thought that I should be married and have a great career, at one point thought kids, and was worried as my 20's started to slip by so what exactly happened? I woke up and realised that not all of my dream were realistic and just because life doesn't go according to "the plan" does not mean I have to throw in the towel and give up. The things we dream about change all the time, but one thing that is constant is that we should be thankful for the good things we have. Also, 30 is the new 20!
I am one of 5 people that owns a video game store, Darkside Games. We are a small owner run shop that is a great place for kids to hang out. It makes me wish sometimes that it was around when I was a teenager, and I hope that anyone who comes through our doors is happy that we are there. I also love the ability to play any game in the store and re-living old NES, SNES, Sega etc games. It is my lottery dream come to life without the lottery. I just need us to make money so I can work there instead! I also will be writing some game reviews which will be posted later on when I get a chance to write them.
I am thankful to have a job right now, after 11 1/2 years at Stream (call center for computer support) I am now a Tim Horton's employee. While my feet are killing me after so long sitting at a desk and now on my feet 8 hours a day, I am happy to go to work again.
The other thing that had been bothering me so much is I am a very curvy BBW. You see shows like the biggest loser, hear the fat jokes, see pictures of what people say is real beauty - in other words anything over size 6 is plus sized and you eventually start to hate how you look. I know because I have had this happen to me. I have recently began to accept I am beautiful and I am worth love and happiness just like someone who is a size 2. I don't have to be tiny to be happy, I just need to be me. Now, I am not saying I don't want to lose weight at all, but I am not going to lose it because society wants me to, and I am NOT going to starve myself to do it, I WILL enjoy the food I love when I want, and I will lose SOME of the weight because I just want to pay less money for my clothes and I just want to for me, no one else. Will I ever be smaller than a 12/14? Nope, and I am perfectly happy with that. and anyone who says I should be smaller can keep talking because I am just going to ignore them. I am 5'11" with long beautiful hair, lovely green eyes and a smile that I have been told lights up a room. With qualities like that, who cares what the meanies say?
I also thought it would be nice to start a new blog where I can express myself and get everything off my chest. I am no longer the type that can keeps things bottled up and sealed inside my heart. I broke he seal and can't get it shut anymore but that is a good thing. I can sit back and calmly observe life, but don't feel afraid of getting involved in life anymore. Be warned, I am a bit crazy so if you decide to follow me on this journey I have 1 warning...BEWARE THE CATS!
I am me, I am proud, I am chubby, I am free.......and I LOVE CATS!
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